I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as a beatific bundle of blissfulness.

I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

I’m about as happy as a crack addict

I’m about as happy as prince andrew in a pizza parlour

I’m about as happy as Slag with a vape

Sometimes being sat on the toilet with diarrhea feels more satisfying than punching Amy Winehouse square in the face

Sometimes being sat on the toilet with diarrhea feels more satisfying than Not sitting on the toilet with diarrhea

Sometimes being sat on the toilet with diarrhea feels more satisfying than pushing out a dead hemorrhoid

Sometimes being sat on the toilet with diarrhea feels more satisfying than being told you are a Jedi whilst dismembering Jar Jar Binks

Sometimes being sat on the toilet with diarrhea feels more satisfying than giving someone a pearl necklace

Sometimes being sat on the toilet with diarrhea feels more satisfying than being told you have gall stones made of tingly mint